“In Medias Res”
My first tattoo reads, “in medias res.” I found it scrolling through Etsy one night, and as a self-proclaimed “book-nerd” I couldn’t believe I had never heard the phrase before.
It’s Latin, meaning: “into the midst of things.”
Brittanica defines it as “the practice of beginning an epic or other narrative by plunging into a crucial situation that is part of a related chain of events; the situation is an extension of previous events and will be developed in later action.” In literature, it’s a novel that starts out in the middle of the plot, backfilling information from the past through “flashbacks”, while an often action-filled present unfolds into an unknown future.
Um, say that again? I could have written the whole damn dictionary myself, and I don’t think I ever could have come up with words that better describe my life.
...because aren't we ALL? Aren't we all plunging into a crucial situation? Always in the middle of SOMETHING? And isn’t it ALL part of a related chain of events?
Cute, right? The book-nerd in me felt so clever and satisfied with my new neural connection! I HAD to have it forever tattooed on my body. Take my money. DONE.
Image description: Tattoo, black script reads, “in medias res” on forearm.
For me, “in medias res” is twofold:
It's a reminder to be kind and practice grace, ESPECIALLY for myself (and others) because every single person I meet is in the midst of things. Every. single. one. of. you.
It's also my reminder to be PRESENT here in the middle of it all while trying not to wish this phase of life away for the next one.
Radiating kindness, practicing courteous goodwill, and being fully present sounds simple enough, but they’re actually really REALLY challenging to accomplish sometimes.
-Is it easy to be calm and kind when I’m met with unnecessary and underserved rudeness? (have you met my 3 year old yet?)
-Am I happy to offer grace to everyone, even or especially those who take advantage of it? (hello, preteen boys)
-How easy is it for me to really be present when I am overstimulated, overworked, and under appreciated?
It’s such a difficult tightrope to walk, right? I found that being on the end of too much or too little of these idealisms left me either burnt out or resentful. So, while I decided that I could honor these in nearly every aspect of my life, I could NO LONGER do so at the expense of my own well-being. Which leads me to one of my favorite quotes,
“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”
I’ve loved that quote for as long as I can remember. Ironically, however, I was quick to dish it out as advice to my friends, yet unable to LIVE it myself. That is, until my unraveling, where I was radically forced to embrace self-love.
So what does all this look like for me? Well, It looks like sometimes silently walking away from what or who doesn’t serve me well without explanation and other times speaking my mind loudly. It means paying it forward unconditionally when I am able and willing, and understanding that other people’s behaviors have more to do with their own internal struggles than my interaction or relationship with them. This time of year, specifically, it means standing firm in how/when/where I celebrate holidays with my kids despite how my extended family may want that to look like. It looks like saying “no” not only to the things I don’t want to do, but also to the things I want to do, so that I can be more present for what I really really want to do, like photography these last few years for me.
Ultimately it means holding firm boundaries for myself, because it’s super easy to get lost in the cycle of best of intentions and peace-keeping while in the midst of things, right?
[cue people-pleasing version of me].
Speaking of boundaries, I want to share a quote recently sent to me that I connected deeply with:
Whoa.
Don’t you love that?!
While I have not by any means perfected the balance of boundaries with my “I-can-do-it-all” attitude, I am striving to find the right distance that allows me to love you and me simultaneously.
So where does this lead me?
To right here. To the gosh-darn-brutally-honest-messy middle of it - deciding how much I want to carry with me, how much I want to let go of, and how much I want to share with you all.
There are so many things I could (and will) write about that shaped, or are currently shaping me. Like yourself, some experiences were positive, and many were painfully not. When I started writing, I wasn’t quite sure where to begin. I feel/felt like I have a LOT to offer, but connecting all of it seamlessly, and deciding what to hold back for myself, well, that’s tough. Maybe impossible. Then I had this notion: Rather than trying to fit all of it into this neatly planned timeline, maybe it was far simpler than that; Maybe I should just start “in the middle of it”…
So listen, if you’re looking for a structured, chronological memoir that ends in powerful life-altering wisdom, this isn’t it. BUT if you’re looking to relate to raw thoughts on motherhood/adulting, mixed with my favorite salsa recipe (if that’s not a #glimmer, I don’t know what is), a copy of my weekly meal-planning google sheet with the blessing to order pizza three nights this week, some random photography hacks, organization tools/methods, sprinkled with some heartbreaking, heartfelt and often hilarious memories that shaped my worldview, then, I’m your girl.
Get ready to ‘ping-pong’ inside my brain while I try to articulate my thoughts during the ups and downs of this messy phase of life [while still seeking those glimmers throughout]. Sorry-not-sorry in advance for the emotional whiplash you’ll likely experience in the many posts to come.
For tonight and this week: Here’s hoping you grant yourself so much grace, honor your boundaries, and bleed self-love in your midst of things. G'night friends.