The Great Purge
At about 5 pm on a Thursday in 2019, I took my framed Doctorate off my employer’s clinic wall, finished tying loose ends for my patients, and drafted an email to HR with my resignation “effective immediately” to schedule-send the next morning; Strategically, of course, about an hour after the opening of business juuuuuuust long enough to make them sweat a bit when I didn’t show up. I never looked back.
“But Katie!” You say. “That’s not very professional! You can’t burn bridges like that.”
Yes, yes you can. And yes, I did.
In my defense, I tried to play nice. I gave over 2 months notice, but nearly 3 weeks into it I felt more than taken advantage of and had reached my breaking point. The matches were handed to me…
Do I regret it?
Nope, not for 1 second.
Over the course of 7+ years I had given my blood, sweat, and tears to a profitable clinic and the caseload of patients I cared deeply about. In return I had acquired 25 pounds, a caffeine addiction, migraines 10-15 days a month, a broken sleep/eating schedule, plantar fasciitis, and anxiety. I missed out on years of critical time with my kids and partner staying late to meet the needs of the business while neglecting my own and my family’s.
“Now what?” I thought to myself.
I had a while before I could begin my new job with *hopefully* a better work-life balance. What was I going to do with my gift of time?
For starters- sleep. I slept a LOT those first few days. Well I slept or rested as much as a mom of an 8, 6, and 4 year old could while tending to a new pup (my sweet golden, Apollo, was only a few months old) and managing the “usual” mom-and-house-stuff.
Trent never questioned my abrupt decision to walk away and not “stick it out” as many people in my life had told me to do. Instead he asked, “Wanna go camping? Unplug?”
YES! Sign me up. And so we did. We cooked meals in a cast iron dutch oven over the fire. We roasted marshmallows, lounged in hammocks, rode our bikes, pushed the kids on swings, threw the ball around with Apollo, walked trails, read books, played yahtzee, and talked until we drifted to sleep after too much sun and fresh air.
It was SO.DAMN.REFRESHING. to focus on the basic rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I begged Trent to sell everything we owned, and we could just live this way in the camper forever.
[Spoiler alert: he said, “No.”]
We eventually returned home to our routines but I felt “lighter” than I had prior to our expedition. One morning I woke up, stepped out of bed, and realized my plantar fasciitis was gone. G-O-N-E. After years of buying expensive shoes and supportive inserts, attempting physical therapy, and considering injections and surgery, the agonizing pain evaporated in a matter of 2 weeks of leaving my job.
My migraines? The kind that had me taking daily medications with the occasional $700 emergency injections to avoid an ER visit? The ones that had me battling nausea, vomiting, piercing pain, light and sound sensitivity, blurred vision, and a laundry list of symptoms 10-15 days a month while still working full time? They stopped. Well, ok, they slowed to only 1 every 6 weeks or so. I was able to stop taking the daily medications needed to keep my brain from attacking itself.
My anxiety meds? They were cut from 150mg to 25 mg - 1/6th of my daily dose!
I started a caffeine detox and began to look at how I was fueling my body. Soon enough, a few extra pounds gently melted away. I rediscovered my love for cooking real food over fast food and in doing so, I tossed a bunch of toxic cookware, opting for non-toxic replacements (psssst….if you’re in the market, check out non-toxic utensils from GIR.co -that’s not an affiliate link, I seriously just LOVE these utensils). Next thing I knew I was pulling out every kitchen item from every drawer, cabinet, shelf and deciding what I really NEEDED. How many sheet pans, spatulas, skillets, and Tupperware did I really need?
The answer was simple, really. Less. I needed less. So much less, in fact.
After a lifetime of pushing myself to do more, achieve more, and have more, my body had shown me in a matter of 2 weeks that owning and doing LESS allowed me to live MORE of the life I wanted. As cliche as that sounds, I 100% believe it to my core now.
So began The Great Purge. I rented a dumpster for the broken items, and took trip after trip of mini-van loads to donate. I posted some big items for sale, but mostly, I gave it away.
The house felt better, free-er even, though little did I know my journey was just beginning.
This past January (2023), as we packed our belongings to move to our forever home. I sat with the kids and asked them what they wanted their new home to feel like. We browsed Pinterest, made vision boards, and noticed a few key findings: the bedrooms, the kitchen, the closets, and all of the spaces were clean. Free of clutter, easy to maintain, and full of only favorite things.
We discussed: what would it feel like if every room in our home had only the stuff we needed and our favorite things- the super fluffy soft bedding, our favorite t-shirts, the comfiest shoes, a couple favorite toys, etc.? What if we only had enough dishes and clothes that we’d have to wash them in order to use them again rather than let them pile up because we had so much excess? It would feel amazing, right?! While we agreed that sometimes we should keep a few “extras”- such as spare sheets, hats/gloves, and old pairs of shoes for dirty projects, etc, we decided we’d strive to be “medium-alists”- not quite minimalists, but certainly not maximalists. In order to end up in a house full of the things we loved, we had to let go of everything holding us back; And just like that, my kids donated or sold 80% of their “extra”. Honestly, I couldn’t believe how much they were willing to part with. C kept 2 of 70+ Barbie’s and donated the rest (yes, 70+). T and B decided 75% of their Legos could go to their cousins’ house as they’d be more likely to be played with there. We made one little guy SO HAPPY when we posted 40+ Nerf Guns were available for pick-up. His smile radiated enough energy to power our “internal batteries” for years.
Here’s a glimpse of JUST the toys the kids were willing to part with:
Unreal, right? I have always felt I kept a well-organized, clean home (and I still do!), but I had no idea we had so much unused, unloved, excess until we took the time to look at every single item and decide if it was needed or loved enough to go with us on our next journey.
After we purged the whole house, would you believe it if I told you that we did it again as we unpacked, and again as we rearranged and fit into our new home (my 30th, yes THIRTIETH, move in my lifetime)? Again as we came up with new storage systems. And again as the seasons changed. Again. And again. And again. Because the thing about purging and decluttering is that every time you do it, you find you can live with even less.
I watched, “Tidying up with Marie Kondo" and, “The Minimalists: Less is Now” on Netflix and listened to this podcast for tips and inspiration.
I read blog posts and pinned motivating images and quotes for our spaces. Everything I came across echoed the same theme: so many of us are drowning in physical clutter and have no idea how much it’s affecting our mental and emotional health. While scrolling one night, I came across this….
It’s what resonated so deeply with me when we went camping and what I felt I had been deprived of: Space. To breathe, enjoy my people, to learn who I am and what I love, to do the things I’ve been wanting to do.
As we enter this holiday season, it’s so easy to gift and acquire more things. I challenge you to have conversations with your kids and your families. I challenge you to gift DOING things: tickets to the concert, the movie theater, the fair, the play, the races, a haircut, a pass to that waterpark/amusement park, the zoo, a class, a meal delivery service…. and of course, go buy a couple things too. Hey- I said we were MEDIUM-alists, not minimalists. Just #nomorenerfguns Please. Only your favorite things!
I’ll share a few lessons I learned while purging:
The more I got rid of, the MORE content I felt.
The more I got rid of, the more I could get rid of.
The less I owned, the easier it was to maintain. Less dishes to wash, laundry to fold, surfaces to clean.
If you have trouble parting with items because of their monetary “worth”:
Let me remind you of this: the money is already spent. You already lost it once. It’s long gone. Instead, focus on not repeating the spending habit in the future rather than recouping a small percentage now.
If you’re still having difficulty, determine YOUR worth- At the time, mine was $25 and 7 days. For example: if I could sell it either individually or as a bundle within 1 week for $25, I’d attempt to sell it. If not, I’d let it go, and/or after 1 week, it was moved to the donate pile. What is your time and energy worth?
For those things you keep “just in case” like all the extra random cables, or specialty items:
I read somewhere that you have to decide if you will a) remember where it’s stored when you need it, and b) have the space (both physically and mentally) to store it in the first place.
ORPerhaps you consider your time/monetary limit of not keeping it? In other words, I tossed the junk drawer of cables because I decided if I ever desperately needed one again, I could get one in 30 minutes or less for under $30. What’s YOUR time and spending limit?
Walking away from that job? It saved my life and probably the well-being of my kids. I’d do it over and over again. Zero regrets.
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving Week where you can hold SPACE for yourself: To breathe, to enjoy your people, to learn who you are and what you love, and to do the things you’ve been wanting to do. Keep finding those #glimmers.
[Our medium-alistic spaces]